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Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Faced my Biggest Fear

I actually did face my biggest fear last week. For many of you, this would have been something fairly easy to do, but because of past trauma, it was one of the hardest things I've forced myself into doing.

I got my blood drawn..............

**cringe**

I had them do a full scan of everything, so they took 3 or 4 vials. I'm not sure because I didn't look. I was pretty brave up until the moment she slid the tourniquet on. Then when she stuck me, it was like a lightning bolt of pure horror struck me. I didn't cry or throw up or faint, but I was clammy and trembling and overall, completely humbled by how out-of-control my feelings were.

I at least waited until hours later, when I was home, to shed some stress tears.

It had taken me twenty years (yes, you heard me right) to willingly face that and get it done. Luckily, I ended up getting a good report. All systems normal. I'm in good health. Whew!

I wish I could say that I'm cured of my fear, and that by facing it, the terror is somehow less now. It's not. I still think it's my biggest challenge, as far as phobias go. But at least I made that first step to confront it. I stopped running from it. So at least now I can say that I did it, and it didn't kill me, so I could do it in the future if I had to.

What about you? Do you have any phobias that you are afraid to face, or that you avoided for a long time and eventually did face?


2 comments:

  1. *internet hi five!*
    Good for you!!
    I'm phobic about falling. And I don't see myself jumping out of a plane anytime soon. :)

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    Replies
    1. Falling is creepy! I dream about falling in slow-mo right before waking up.

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