I actually did face my biggest fear last week. For many of you, this would have been something fairly easy to do, but because of past trauma, it was one of the hardest things I've forced myself into doing.
I got my blood drawn..............
I had them do a full scan of everything, so they took 3 or 4 vials. I'm not sure because I didn't look. I was pretty brave up until the moment she slid the tourniquet on. Then when she stuck me, it was like a lightning bolt of pure horror struck me. I didn't cry or throw up or faint, but I was clammy and trembling and overall, completely humbled by how out-of-control my feelings were.
I at least waited until hours later, when I was home, to shed some stress tears.
It had taken me twenty years (yes, you heard me right) to willingly face that and get it done. Luckily, I ended up getting a good report. All systems normal. I'm in good health. Whew!
I wish I could say that I'm cured of my fear, and that by facing it, the terror is somehow less now. It's not. I still think it's my biggest challenge, as far as phobias go. But at least I made that first step to confront it. I stopped running from it. So at least now I can say that I did it, and it didn't kill me, so I could do it in the future if I had to.
What about you? Do you have any phobias that you are afraid to face, or that you avoided for a long time and eventually did face?
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Monday, February 16, 2015
a eulogy by Carrie Sullivan
Who was Winnie Jones?
To begin with, Winnie was one of the biggest animal lovers to grace the planet. It is impossible, when thinking of the woman, not also to think of all the happy dogs and cats she gave her home and love to over the years—and one very protective Chihuahua in particular who was a permanent fixture on her lap. I'm certain that her beloved pets who have passed on are now overjoyed to see her again.
Winnie was fearless and quite the tough cookie. If you had to choose anyone to have your back during a fight, you'd want to pick her. Tiny-framed woman that she was, she was also a force to be reckoned with, and loyal to the end.
Winnie was my Easter Bunny. For a number of years, her daughter, Misty, and I celebrated Easter together. Though we were teenagers, Winnie always had an Easter basket waiting for us at the house. She even hid Easter eggs out in her fabulous gardens for Misty and me to hunt. It didn't matter that we were way too old for that by society's standards. I always looked forward to those baskets filled with candy, eggs, and a smiling fuzzy stuffed animal.
Winnie was a source of patient warmth. She never minded if I wanted to spend the night with her daughter. I was always welcome. She enjoyed it when Misty and I dressed up in our home-made costumes and paraded around Lawton making our amateur movies—she'd even sit down afterward and watch the final product, fully engrossed, a true fan. She was one of the "cool moms" who let us stay up as late as we wanted, even if it was a school night. She gave us free-rein of the entire living room during our Academy-Award-watching nights and helped to start our Oscars tradition that Misty and I still do today.
Finally, Winnie was a devoted mother. Many years ago, she was willing to open her home to a little girl who would later become my best friend. She not only adopted Misty in name, she chose to love her throughout the years as her own daughter. That love transcended the common bonds of blood. She watched Misty grow from a child, to an adolescent, to a teenager, and finally to a woman with her own children. And her adoration for her daughter and grandchildren never wavered for an instant. They were part of her family. Period.
Winnie was all of these things and more to those of us who knew her. When we think of her, let us remember the way she loved. Let us remember her strength. And let us remember her generosity of spirit. She will not be forgotten. She will be greatly missed.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Many of you know Misty from my posts--she's been a friend of mine for such a long time that I consider her family. Her mother, Winnie, has not been in good health for a while, but it appears as if she may be leaving us soon. The funeral costs are of course astronomical. Most importantly, there's a certain amount that has to be paid up front in order for the plot to be dug up. The family's in real need of some financial help so that this funeral can even take place. If you would, take a moment to read the details and consider Misty's GoFundMe -->here<--.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
If you're paired up, do something sweet and special this weekend. If you're single, do something nice for yourself. Eat chocolate. Watch a funny movie. Cook something delicious. Go for a walk. Read a book. Snuggle with your dog or cat. Give your kids Valentines. Give your parents Valentines. Call your aunts and uncles and grandparents that you rarely talk to. Let people know you love them. Yes, it's a commercial holiday, but it's also a good day to hop on the Love Vibe and ride that thing because there will be lots and lots of happy energy out there. Don't be a curmudgeon. Just go with it. Valentine's Day can be whatever you want it to be--it doesn't have to be romantic love. Just...love!
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
I just read that Harper Lee is releasing a To Kill a Mockingbird sequel this summer. Guys, I think this could quite possibly be the biggest book release in the history of book releases! Check out the article here.